Guides for Happy Marriages

Marriages can't be perfect. Couples will always have something to argue about. Diversities of personalities and beliefs sometimes bring people together but often becomes the reason for fights and misunderstanding. If not resolved, these may cause separation and broken marriages.

Let's learn from this story the secret of a happy marriage.

The Secret to a Lasting Marriage: Embrace Imperfection

Deb Graham

When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school.

I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the toast. And I'll never forget what

he said: "Baby, I love burned toast."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said,"Debbie, your momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real

tired. And besides­a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!"

In bed that night, I thought about that scene at dinner...and the

kindness my daddy showed my mom. To this day, it's a cherished memory

from my childhood that I'll never forget. And it's one that came to

mind just recently when Jack and I sat down to eat dinner.

I had arrived home late...as usual...and decided we would have

breakfast food for dinner. Some things never change, I suppose!

To my amazement, I found the ingredients I needed, and quickly began

to cook eggs, turkey sausage, and buttered toast. Thinking I had

things under control, I glanced through the mail for the day. It was

only a few minutes later that I remembered that I had forgotten to

take the toast out of the oven!

Now, had it been any other day -- and had we had more than two pieces

of bread in the entire house -- I would have started all over. But it

had been one of those days and I had just used up the last two pieces

of bread. So burnt toast it was!

As I set the plate down in front of Jack, I waited for a comment

about the toast. But all I got was a "Thank you!" I watched as he ate

bite by bite, all the time waiting for some comment about the toast.

But instead, all Jack said was, "Babe, this is great. Thanks for

cooking tonight. I know you had a hard day."

As I took a bite of my charred toast that night, I thought about my

mom and dad...how burnt toast hadn't been a deal-breaker for them.

And I quietly thanked God for giving me a marriage where burnt toast

wasn't a deal-breaker either!

You know, life is full of imperfect things...and imperfect people.

I'm not the best housekeeper or cook. And you might be surprised to

find out that Jack isn't the perfect husband! He likes to play his

music too loud, he will always find a way to avoid yard work, and he

watches far too many sports. Believe it or not, watching "Golf

Academy" is not my idea of a great night at home!

But somehow in the past 37 years Jack and I have learned to accept

the imperfections in each other. Over time, we have stopped trying to

make each other in our own mold and have learned to celebrate our

differences. You might say that we've learned to love each other for

who we really are!

For example, I like to take my time, I'm a perfectionist, and I'm

even-tempered. I tend to work too much and sleep too little. Jack, on

the other hand, is disciplined, studious, an early riser, and is a

marketer's dream consumer. I count pennies and Jack could care less!

Where he is strong, I am weak, and vice versa.

And while you might say that Jack and I are opposites, we're also

very much alike. I can look at him and tell you what he's thinking. I

can predict his actions before he finalizes his plans. On the other

hand, he knows whether I'm troubled or not the moment I enter a room.

We share the same goals. We love the same things. And we are still

best friends. We've traveled through many valleys and enjoyed many

mountaintops. And yet, at the same time, Jack and I must work every

minute of every day to make this thing called "marriage" work!

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each

other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences -

is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing,

and lasting marriage relationship.